Hurumph...

Things that I've learned as a military wife... You never tell other wives how much something about all of this nonsense is bothering you. You go on with your normal daily business like nothing has changed, and you do so with a smile. And of course, you always smile and laugh when you talk to your hubby while he's away.
Now this isn't my first deployment. I went through one years ago that was 16 months long. This IS however my first with Jeremy. I don't know if its the hormones of the pregnancy or that I have just reached that point, but I am not ok this time. No matter how good my friends are, we always hung out as couples so its not the same. Despite my best efforts to keep myself busy my thoughts are completely eclipsed by this lack of husband.
I consider myself a strong, independent woman, but this is really getting to me. I miss him. Jeremy is truly my best friend and my partner in everything we do. Having him away has sent me to this place in my head that I would desperately like to escape. I hate sounding like this and I hate feeling like this. But I don't want to do this for the long haul. I want to have our baby and have him retire and have him home. I want my family.
The complications with my pregnancy aren't helping this whole thing. Waking up at 3am to go to the ER by yourself and drive yourself is not a fun time. Jeremy and I do those things together. From the start any and all Dr appointment that either one of us has had we go together. Its just not the same...
I know that it makes it harder in some aspects, but I want to have this kid soon so I can have something/someone to occupy my thoughts and time. Its not easy being all alone in your head constantly...